I'm not going to lie and say it has all been butterflies and roses. When you are almost nine years old, being taken away from the only life you have ever known, regardless of how difficult or hopeless that life was, is really, really hard. Maia is struggling to adjust in many ways. She hasn't really figured out her place in our family yet, and she is always on the lookout for anything she sees as unfair. She gets very upset very quickly if she thinks someone (usually Alaina) has gotten anything she hasn't. This can set her off into a very long "episode" of deep sobs and big tears, and if I let her she will go find somewhere to hide. I don't let her. I quickly scoop her into my lap and hold her and sing to her and tell her everything's okay. She does let me comfort her, which is a blessing. Unfortunately this means I am basically unavailable for any of my other kids for up to 45 minutes while I calm Maia down.
I think she is genuinely grieving most of the time, and I want to help her through. If I thought I was being manipulated I would respond differently. And there have been times when I just cheerfully take her by the hand and say, "you're okay" and move her to a new activity, and that seems to work in the times she is just displaying jealous behavior. But the deep wracking sobs break my heart, and I can't just let it be.
So I am tired, both physically and emotionally. But for the most part everyone is settling in to this "new normal" of our family. Alaina started back to school the week of Thanksgiving, and that gives me eight solid hours with Maia every day. I will return to work half-time in January, and Maia will go with me to school in the afternoons, joining Alaina's second-grade class. She really doesn't speak any English yet but that language-rich environment can only help her.
Speaking of language, the little English she does know is kind of funny. She is really good about putting the dog outside and yelling at the top of her lungs, "Go Potty!!!!" I'm sure the neighbors think we are nuts. She can also say "no," and she uses that word a lot. She also spontaneously says "I love you!" which makes this mama's heart sing.
We spent two days at Children's Hospital right when we got home from China and discovered Maia has quite a few more medical needs than we knew. We are headed back there for a CT scan and an MRI on the 28th of December, and we will know more when we get the results. It looks like we are in for some fairly extensive surgical procedures sooner rather than later.
Adopting an older child is difficult, I'm not going to lie. But it is also deeply rewarding. We know without a doubt that God had this child in mind for our family, and He has been faithful both to bring her home and to provide us with the strength and wisdom we need to parent her. Please pray that we are able to be the best parents possible for her, and that she will know that all the things she is going to need to endure medically are because we love her.
Blessings,
Mindy
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